We are pleased to announce our chaplains for the spring 2024 conference. Each chaplain serves in the role for one day of the conference. They are available to any participant who may have thoughts about the conference contents or participants that they would like to voice to a listening ear.
Chaplains have no executive authority for the conference but are asked to help process concerns and bring them to the attention of the conference planning team when requested or necessary. While partners can serve as chaplains, the volunteers for this conference are all ordained clergy with considerable experience in parish and counseling ministries.
Spring 2024 Conference Chaplains
Monday: Phyllis Hubbell from Gaithersburg, Maryland Tuesday: Robert (Bob) Morriss from Lynchburg, Virginia Wednesday: Karen Gustafson from Knife River, Minnesota
Thanks to these volunteers and thanks for the warm reception you gave to this idea at our last conference.
Topics of Interest Up for Discussion at Spring 2024 Conference
The spring 2024 conference will feature small break-out sessions in which specified topics of interest will be addressed by the group. The break-out sessions are scheduled for Wednesday, April 17 at 4 pm, Eastern. You can choose which discussion you will join at that time. Learn more about the conference and register by visiting https://uurmapa.org/activities/ Below are the titles of each group and some information about the leader of each session.
1. S O S: Climate Change Seeks Leaders
We have the skills and the conviction of our Seventh Principle to make a difference for life and welfare on our planet. Let’s share what we know and what we hope to accomplish. The leader is Lucy Hitchcock, who retired in a sustainable community in Salem, Oregon. Her spiritual disciplines are planting trees and native plants, organizing and advocating for climate mitigation and justice, and making personal habit changes to benefit Nature.
2. As the partner of a retired minister, how do I fit into congregational life?
The role of a minister’s partner is determined by the partner, of course. Some choose to involved in parish life, others may not. Does this dynamic change in retirement? The leader is Barry Finkelstein, the partner of Rev. Roberta Finkelstein, who retired almost two years ago. Barry has had a charmed life as a minister’s partner throughout Roberta’s more than thirty years in ministry, in various settings. His current roles include playing upright bass and accordion in bands at two churches, serving as a volunteer greeter, and working very part time as a stewardship consultant.
3. Good Grief
An open forum to share grief stories and support one another in bereavement. Grief is a life-long presence and represents the love we have for our partner who has died. The leader is Duane Fickeisen, who grieves the loss of his spouse 3½ years ago. He facilitates a monthly virtual support group for UURMaPA members who are grieving the loss of a spouse and has offered a class in grief and the holidays at First Unitarian Church (Portland, OR) where he is a member. His recent sermon on grief is here: https://dfickeisen.wordpress.com/2024/02/12/good-grief-embracing-grief-and-the-trouble-with-not-doing-so/
4. Challenges of Caregiving
Are you a caregiver for a partner, extended family member, friend? Join us for a conversation about caregiver challenges, concerns, ideas, and resources. Learn about our monthly UURMaPA Caregivers Group. The leader is Makanah Morriss, who retired in 2006 and enjoys the country life near Lynchburg, VA with horses, dogs, cats and partner, Bob. She is a member of the UU Congregation of Lynchburg. Makanah and Sylvia Howe began the UURMaPA Caregivers Group in 2019.
5. Writing as Spiritual Practice…and self care.
The leader is Judy Campbell, a semi-retired community minister, author, and crazy cat lady, living, literally, on the coast of southeastern Massachusetts. Still (gratefully) writing poems and mysteries, and leading writing workshops and retreats. And coordinating an in-person UURMaPA retreat pod in Kingston, Massachusetts.
6. Housing Alternatives for Seniors: Cohousing
The leader is Jaco ten Hove, who, with his spouse Barbara, has enjoyed living in Bellingham WA Cohousing (begun in 2000) since retiring seven years ago. With 35 households and lots of “noble chores,” it has been a boon through the pandemic and beyond. That and other modes of non-silo living are worth considering, as we shall endeavor to do in this conversation.
7. Issues of Aging for LGBTQ+ people
The leader is Brendan Hadash, who has been retired since 2013 and helps with various committees at St. Johnsbury, Vermont where he is minister emeritus. He has been with his spouse Alan for more than 40 years.
8. As a retired minister, how do I still contribute to Unitarian Universalism?
The leader is Roberta Finkelstein, who retired almost two years ago, and after some fits and starts, has found happiness sitting in the pews in Arlington, VA, where she volunteers at the Sunday Welcome Table and helps with the food pantry.
9. The Soul of Aging
Come experience a sample of the curriculum “The Soul of Aging,” in which we will creatively approach the art of aging intentionally and the many soulful invitations our maturing years offer us—to understand, surrender to, and be transformed by the aging process.
The leaders are the Rev. Shay MacKay and the Rev. Diana McLean, a Unitarian Universalist clergy couple based in Minneapolis. Their entrepreneurial ministry, Sacred Depths LLC, exists to help individuals deepened their connection to the sacred through creativity and contemplation. You can find them at www.sacreddepths.com.
10. Informal Socializing
If none of the above scintillating topics push your buttons, you can join Barbro’s Meet ‘n’ Greet. This is a chance to chat and hang out with your colleagues and perhaps make a new acquaintance. Hosted by Barbro Hansson, the convenor of the conference planning team.
Our association is fortunate to host the Rev. Anita Farber-Robertson for an Odyssey presentation at the spring conference. She retired in 2020 after 40 years of active ministry, serving congregations in New England as a settled minister and as an Accredited Interim Minister.
She taught at Andover Newton Theological School as the adjunct Professor of Communication. She chaired the UUA’s Racial and Cultural Diversity Task Force with Leon Spencer from 1992–97. She authored two books: Learning While Leading, Increasing Your Effectiveness in Ministry (Alban Institute), and Called to Community: New Directions in Unitarian Universalist Ministry, with Dorothy Emerson. Both are available in paperback and Kindle through Amazon. She has a coaching/consulting practice for clergy and congregations.
The mother of two and stepmother of two, grandmother of their combined eight children, Anita lives by the sea in Swampscott MA, with her dog Tinker.
The conference is scheduled for April 15–17 online or in person at Wilmington DE or Kingston MA. You can register for the conference at the UURMaPA website <HERE>. The conference fee is $45 per individual and scholarships are available. For more information and program details, check the Activities section on our webpage <HERE>.
The Fall Conference was a great success. One hundred and seventy-eight of us, including presenters, signed up, making this the most-attended conference ever. Further, 97 of us sent in evaluations afterward—a high percentage—almost all of them very favorable. Such a response attests to the welcoming, engaging, inclusive tone and practice the Planning Committee aimed for.
Our theme was “Blessings and Challenges: Successfully Navigating Change.” This theme cast a wide net, since we retirees are encountering change all around—in our inner lives and with our health, our interests, our relationships with family and loved ones, our professional lives, our present communities, and the wider world with its crucial challenges, to name a few. And also, with such a diverse group as we are, in our three days we simply had programming to give some examples of lives lived in such changes and then allow us to meet in small groups of six or so to share our individual responses to how we each were navigating our own way.
We were fortunate to have three in-person gatherings, “pods,” to creatively do their own programming and blend with our online offerings. Jaco and Barbara ten Hove arranged a pod for nearly 30 people at Seabeck Conference Center, WA (see photo below). Richard Speck arranged one for eight in Wilmington, DE. And Sylvia Howe arranged one for six in Columbus, OH. This allowed for some of us to gather in person and enjoy face-to-face camaraderie, adding another dimension to the conference for those who could make them. For the first time we also had a chaplain available each day. MarniHarmony, John Gilmore, and Diane Teichert each volunteered to provide a safe, caring support for our gathering.
Front row: Sonya Sukalski, Patty Eaton, Geoff Rimositis, Steven Storla, Toni Tortorilla, Lena Breen, Deborah Raible. 2nd row (seated): [Dennis and Suzanne Reynolds, temporarily off campus], Sue Nichols, Lynda Sutherland, Wendy Fish, Linda Horton, [Jaco ten Hove, behind camera]. 3rd row (standing): Barbara ten Hove, Phyllis Morales, Joy Atkinson, Debra Faulk, Flossie Bode, Patti Pomerantz, Millie Rochester. Back row: Lucy Hitchcock, Mitch Sukalski, Lloyd Horton, Duane Fickeisen, Bruce Bode, Peter Morales, Roger Rochester
We began each session with a slide show of pictures and names of everyone who sent them in so that we could connect names and countenances of those we did not know and greet in our hearts those we did. Jeff Briere pulled this together with a worldwide soundtrack he had carefully selected as background. We began and ended our gathering in worship services, with Lynda Sutherland, Susan Rak, Sonja Sukalski, and Barbara ten Hove providing an opening worship that acknowledged the crisis in the Mideast, lifted up the related issues of land acknowledgment for all of us, and welcomed us to this gathering of spirit. One of us wrote, “It was beautifully done. The whole experience moved me and stayed with me.”
We then went to our opening check-in small groups for people to share “How is it with thy spirit?” Sonya Sukalski coordinated these three gatherings, with the support of Barbro Hansson attending to late-comers, and, of course, the wizardry of our talented tech person, Jon Claney. Each group had a facilitator who was trained in our guidelines and foci for the groups. The second gathering was specifically theme-related, and the final was an opportunity to gain closure and share take-aways from the gathering. In an effort to be more inclusive of partners, everyone had the option to be in a group of partners, ministers, or mixed. As one person put it: “It was great to hear what a diverse group of colleagues were doing to maintain focus and meaning in their lives—and to contend with physical and psychological challenges of aging in these troubled times.”
Experimentally, each of the eight program sessions ended with some online socializing of all who wanted to stay on for a bit. These gravitated to reactions to the programming before, and our facilitation improved so that people kept coming back.
The next section began with Wayne Arnason introducing the chaplain of the day and then the presenters from the UUA and UUMA. First were Sofia Betancourt and Jessica York in an open conversation between them about the UUA changes they felt were most important. Wayne then moderated a panel of UUA and UUMA staff on how they saw themselves and our ministers and congregations faithfully navigating change. Jessica York, Jan Gartner, Phillip Lund, and Melissa Carville Ziemer shared, and Richard Speck facilitated the question and answer session that followed.
Eleanor Richardson
The last session of the first day began with a presentation by Linda Olsen Peebles and Roberta Finkelstein on the status of a proposed new UUMA chapter of retired ministers, with Wayne moderating again. Then Charles Stephens began the Odyssey for the evening and invited Peter Richardson to introduce his spouse, Eleanor Richardson, for her Odyssey, followed by questions and reactions. As one person said: “Oh my! What a fascinating life story. Everything was so interesting. What a proactive woman!” Virtual socializing followed.
Ohio “pod” participants included, from left to right: Sylvia Howe, Paul L’Herrou, Lynda Smith, Joan VanBecelaere, Marco Belletini, Suzan McCrystal, and Holly Horn. Ben Maucere also attended.
Our second day began with Roberta Finkelstein introducing and then moderating a theme panel of four of our own numbers, two partners and two minsters, describing how they have been navigating the blessings and challenges of change in their lives. Larry Ladd and Cathie Severance spoke as partners, and Duane Fickeisen and Janne Eller-Isaacs spoke as ministers. There was time for responses from all afterwards. The presentations were deeply personal and varied. One person put it: “It was an incredibly enriching experience. I was deeply moved by their profound sharing. I thank them for their insights into the challenges and rewards of aging, in both our personal and professional lives.”
Our second Tuesday session featured one of the three spotlights on a pod, followed by presentations from our UURMaPA Board on various issues and programs for us retirees. We then broke into our discussion groups to go more deeply into our theme together, inspired by the panel sharings before. Again, a response:”This was a most helpful piece of the program.The panelists were honest and clear and I was impressed with current services to our congregations.”
We finished the day with our customary Remembrance Service for colleagues we lost this past year. Before it, we regretfully announced the death earlier that morning of Carolyn Owen-Towle, whose remembrance will be in the Spring Conference. The service was put together by Lynda Sutherland, Anne Marsh, Barbara ten Hove, Gloria Perez, John Gilmore, Richard Speck, and Terence Ellen. There were opening reflections and music followed by brief biographies of each colleague with the placing of a white rose in a vase in honor and celebration of their life.
The honorings were broken into four sections with different readers and musical interludes between each of the four to provide time for individual reflections. To maintain focus the chat was closed until after the honorings, when all were invited to share both written and spoken remembrances and appreciations. One response was “The warm and effective memorials with visuals, musical interludes, and pacing has reached some kind of pinnacle for an online service of remembrance. Very touching, heart-warming, to hear the stories of the lives of members who died this year.” Afterwards, virtual socializing extended the sharing.
Olav Nieuwejaar
On Wednesday we first heard two brief UUA presentations from Keith Kron (Targeted Ministries) and Anna Gehres (retirement finances), and then heard the Odyssey of Olav Nieuwejaar, who was introduced by his UURMaPA support group. One hearer responded, “One of the most powerful and vulnerable and authentic stories I have heard in a long time. It affected me profoundly.” An open time for responses followed and continued in the virtual socializing.
Our last session included our last break-out groups focussed on our take-aways from the conference. These were followed by a powerful closing worship by Ned Wight of our UUMaPA Board. It brought all of our varied Conference experiences into an integrated, emotional whole with both words and music. One respondent said, “It was the highlight of the conference for me. Superbly prepared and presented.”
Barbro Hansson
Barbro Hansson then said a few “Last Things,” including the date of the Spring Conference, Monday, April 15 to Wednesday, April 17. Although Barbro stayed in the background almost the whole conference, she was the unseen presence bringing it all about by her indefatigable persistence, experience, creativity, organizational abilities, good humor, and warmth on the Planning Committee. She’ll be convening our April conference as well.
The Committee has read through all of the responsive feedback to the various parts of this gathering, and are working them into the planning for the Spring Conference as best we can. There are a number of good ideas, most pronounced of which is the repeated desire for including diversity in all its forms, for example, economic differences, as we select speakers and other programming.
These conferences have evolved under Barbro and others, and with your considered feedback and the continuing support from our UURMaPA Board, will continue to evolve and try new things in order to provide a welcoming, stimulating, and heart-touching combination of pod and virtual community.
With thanks to you all,
Terence Ellen, Publicity, for the rest of the Planning Committee: Barbro Hansson (Convenor) Anne Marsh (Scribe +) Richard Speck (Pod Liaison, Tech Assistant) Lynda Sutherland (Worship) Charles Stephens (Odysseys) Wayne Arnason (Chaplains, Liaison to UUA, UUMA & UURMaPA) Roberta Finkelstein (Theme Panel) Jeff Briere (Slide Show) Sonja Sukalski (Small Groups), and Jon Claney (Tech Professional)
Our winter 2022 conference on February 28–March 2 was again virtual. Instead of one theme speaker this year, a panel reflected on the conference theme. Panel members were: Barry Finkelstein, Laurel Hallman, David Hubner, and Carolyn Price. Walt Wieder served as moderator. The questions posed for reflection were:
Have our perspectives changed as ministers or minister’s partners? How?
Have our perspectives changed as Unitarian Universalists? How?
If we’ve continued practicing ministry or other professions, does that mean we’ve “failed retirement?”
How have we maintained connections?
What are we letting go?
What new adventures are we exploring, welcoming into our lives?
How do we handle the challenges of our aging bodies?
How are we facing death – our own and those we love?
Following the panelists’ presentation, small groups reflected on the same questions. There were a variety of breakout groups on other topics, worship and remembrance of those who have recently died, and odysseys given by Judy Gibson and Lilia Curervo. See Spring 2022 Elderberries for a full report.
Over 60 UURMaPAns, most of them over 60 themselves, gathered for a pleasantly warm midweek together in Scottsdale, Arizona, in late February — entirely and innocently unaware that this Winter conference would likely be one of the last large events they would attend in person for some time.
Program and camaraderie were outstanding, and the facility was excellent (as was the weather). The ambitious theme — A 50-Year Retrospect of Our Soul—offered diverse and stimulating ways to portray the half-century evolution of these angles: Vietnam War, UU Women in Ministry, Race, and Technology, very brief summaries of which follow. (See fuller coverage in our Spring, 2020 Elderberries.)
Vietnam War
Barbara Child, author of Memories of a Vietnam Veteran (see Elderberries, Winter 2019), introduced her panelists, who covered a spectrum of 1970 experiences of the war.
For Stephan Papa, the draft provided formative lessons and motivations toward ministry. Dave Hunter told a stirring story about his steady draft resistance, describing his attitude as “a general lack of cooperation” with the Selective Service.
Robert Latham offered distressing memories of the Tet Offensive as a chaplain and witness to the willful ignorance, deceit and arrogance of officials, likening it to a version of manifest destiny.
Jan Christian spoke evocatively of her brother’s death in Vietnam, her evolution of awareness, and a gradual resolution of her pain. Her book, Leave No Brother Behind, is a memoir of the experience. She noted that the war is still a raw wound in America and UUs often have low skills around conflict related to that era.
Gordon Gibson presented a timeline, beginning with his ministry in Mississippi and presence in 1965 Selma up to his leadership of recent tours of southern civil rights sites. He had to sadly acknowledge that his primary co-presenter, Mel Hoover, was unable to attend because of a last minute back injury, so he arranged to have longtime civil rights activist Jim Hobart join the panel, along with Darrick Jackson, who stepped away from the nearby UUMA meetings to be with us. Darrick read a message from Bill Sinkford, including this: “My ministry has not been all about race, and race has never been absent from my ministry.”
Jim honored his father Al’s ministry in the south, noting the formative contrast between de jure segregation and more progressive attitudes in their Unitarian setting. He referred to the late 1960s controversy around the General Assembly vote for $1 million to support the Black Caucus and how the 1992 GA (Calgary) returned racial issues to the table, toward a growing awareness of white supremacy culture.
Diane Miller, who began her ministry in 1976, explained that UURMaPA holds huge resources of memory and experiences; she offered some key statistics about women in ministry and introduced four very important testimonies and accountings of dramatic but challenging evolution toward our current culture. See Diane’s presentation.
Joy Atkinson, ordained in 1974 (“arriving like a first robin in spring”) spoke of her early experiences as often the first woman minister in many of her settings. See Joy’s presentation.
Leslie Westbrook, ordained in 1973, was unable to attend in person, but provided her own excellent and important video history of women in ministry during the years 1977-82. See Leslie’s presentation.
Christine Robinson, ordained in 1980, articulated the dramatic roller coaster of her parish leadership experience, always striving toward the growth of healthy systems. See Christine’s presentation.
Deborah Pope-Lance, ordained in 1978, described how dangerous it was in the 1980s to speak out about clergy sexual abuse that was very prevalent, pervasive and permitted. There were huge positive changes in the 90s, although patriarchal structures persisted and women were often acculturated into them.
Overall themes portrayed by this panel included hurts, resistance, microaggressions, struggles, courage, peer bonding, pioneering spirit, confusion, bullying, and vicious power dynamics.
Technology: From Snail Mail to ZOOM
Duane Fickeisen presented an entertaining and appropriately visual chronicle of the 1970 context, featuring events personal, national and global. He took us down a vivid memory lane of devices and made helpful connections about the impacts of technology on our lives today. Duane invited us into intriguing inquiries:
Where were you 50 years ago?
What was entertainment for you? How did you communicate?
How do you use technology now? How does it impact you? How might you improve your relationship with it? How did you get around? How did you get news?
Other highlights of the conference include a number of fine worship services, a stirring Odyssey from Judy Welles, the Unsung UURMaPAn Award presentation to Lois Wesener, and yet another Wide Variety Show in the evening, which featured, strangely enough, a wide variety of a dozen acts, from profound poetry readings and meaningful magic to a twisted rendition of Cinderella, improvised death scenes, plus songs galore, including a lightly rehearsed rendition of the classic Arizona tale of ole Yavapai Pete by Brother Buzz and the Holy Coyotes.
We also brainstormed ways UURMaPA might reduce our carbon footprint and we had informative sessions with Richard Nugent, director of the UUA’s Office of Church Staff Finances and a few UUMA Board members (who were meeting at the same site). We will look forward to returning to the Franciscan Renewal Center again, some day.
Our annual luncheon at GA will be held Friday June 22 from 11:30 am to 1:30 pm. The luncheon is a great time to connect with retired colleagues and partners, hear what’s going on with UURMaPA, celebrate this year’s recipient of the Creative Sageing Award, and welcome our newest retirees (who attend the lunch as our guests). The menu will be as inclusive and delicious as possible. If you have any special dietary or other needs, please contact me so we can cover them in our planning.
“The Creative Process: Minds at Work Together?”
October 3-6, 2016
Fall 2016 Conference Attendees
Don Chery and Ginger Luke
Perfect autumn weather gilded the lily at the excellent Attleboro Fall Conference of 2016 at La Salette Conference Center. Many hands contributed to the success of the event, but special credit goes to Ginger Luke and Don Chery, this year’s co-chairs, for the degree of preparation that made everything run so smoothly.
“Grandfather” (Dave Hunter) and “Sarah” (Sophie Philibin)
The theme of Creativity was carried consistently and successfully through various activities for the entire conference, beginning with an inspiring program presented by Andy and Chris Backus. They made some observations about the creative process and how they work together, followed by a glimpse into their creation of the two-act musical, “Older But Not Wiser,” with live music performed by Dave Hunter and Sophie Philibin, a member of the nearby Foxboro Universalist Church.
Group Singing their Lyrics to “For the Beauty of the Earth”
Working groups of six or seven UURMaPAns were then assigned the task of re-writing words to the familiar tune of “For the Beauty of the Earth,” with astonishingly successful results.
Andy and Chris had invited reflection on these words by Neil Gaiman, adapted from a commencement address:
And remember that whatever discipline you are in, whether you are a musician or a photographer, a fine artist or a cartoonist, a writer, a dancer, a designer, a minister, a minister’s partner, whatever you do you, have one thing that’s unique. You have the ability to make good art.
And for me, and for so many of the people I have known, that’s been a lifesaver. The ultimate lifesaver. It gets you through good times and it gets you through the other ones.
Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do. Make good art.
I’m serious. Your spouse leaves you? Make good art. Seriously injured? Make good art. Alone in the World? Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take away the sting, but that doesn’t matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.
Make it on the good days too.
UURMaPAns conquer the Providence River
Afternoon workshops included pottery, photography, further explorations in the creative process with Chris and Andy, and several other well-attended offerings — followed, of course, by the familiar social hour in “the cave.” (Thank you, Sandy Fitz-Henry, for organizing this.) Wednesday brought several choices for exploring the nearby city of Providence, RI, with tours of the Rhode Island School of Design Art Museum, the Culinary Arts Museum, or First Unitarian Church; boat tours on the Providence River; and various options for lunch.
Victor and Cathe Carpenter
That evening we enjoyed an Odyssey delivered by Dick Fewkes. Worship services offered by Phyllis Hubbell, Carol Taylor, and Kerry Mueller continued to explore the theme of creativity, while Joyce and Dick Gilbert’s evening worship gave us a glimpse of their recent trip to Cape Town, South Africa, followed by a slide show giving more detail. Victor and Cathe Carpenter made a surprise appearance; Victor was the Unitarian minister in Cape Town in the 1960s.
Thursday’s business meeting brought us news of UURMaPA’s recent activities and the announcement of the 2016 Unsung UURMaPAn, Chris Lilly Backus.
First Time Attendees at Fall 2016 Conference. L to R: Nancee Campbell, Susan Lamar, Janet Newman, Neil Gerdes, Judith Smith-Valley, Paul Smith-Valley, Carol Rosine
